Have you ever had that one moment that you will never forget? I do. I like being an exhibitionist, but this wasn’t me this time. This was my phone sex caller. He did the unthinkable and damn, was it funny for me. Maybe not for him though.

Imagine it’s after work and you have a long drive home, but your dick is saying otherwise. It’s throbbing from the office girl teasing all day, and driving is almost impossible. What do you do? Cause an accident or pull over at a rest stop and handle the problem. The choice is yours.

I’ve done plenty of calls with this man, but this was a first. Right off the top I could hear that he was on the highway, and got worried. He assured me he was pulling over and would be fine, but still, something tingled inside of me that should have been a warning. We flirted until he stopped and then the call got heated. I gave him some JOI (jack off instructions), and he tuned out the world around him. My voice can be hypnotic.

Everything was going great until a knock on the window changed all that. Yep, it was a cop doing a wellness check on my caller. What do you think he did? Wrong. He kept me on the line and sat the phone down for me to listen.

My exhibitionist was in trouble.

The cop knew what he was doing. I could hear it in the tone of his voice. Instead of just walking away or telling him to stop, he decided to fuck with him. My caller had to do a field sobriety check and even show the coffee he was drinking was just that. Coffee. Thank God for the mute button. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

This entire encounter with the cop took about 10 minutes, but it was probably the worst and scariest 10 minutes of his life. After being assured that he was okay, the cop left with a warning to move on. Did he? Nope. He finished the call, grabbed that orgasm, and then went home. After all that he deserved it, and I got a memory that I will never forget.

So, beware of where you jerk off. Cops are out there looking for you naughty exhibitionist bandits.

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Would it shock you to know that growing up I wanted to be a Nun? I guess some wouldn’t understand, but then again, either do I. It wasn’t for religious reasons, but more because I have a deviant mind. Pushing the limits seemed to be something that I had to do. Some will find this disturbing, but others might be able to relate to having an over active imagination.

Deviant: Departing from usual or accepted standards, especially in social or sexual behavior.

I started church at a young age. It was what upstanding people did. All week they live a sinful life and on Sunday let the Power Of Christ was away their deviant sins. I attended Holy Innocence Catholic Church with a friend of mine from school. She was what they now call non-binary, but back then I didn’t know what that mean. To me she was a tomboy. I guess I was a little bit of one too. I enjoyed playing in the mud and building forts as well. Barbies changed all that a few years later.

My deviant behavior started on day one. It was innocent enough. When that little basket came around to add the money for the church, I made a withdrawal. My parents didn’t send me with any cash and there was a little store on the way home. In my defense, they did pass it around and the money was just laying there. My friend watched but didn’t take anything. She knew better, but did enjoy the wealth after church when we bought candy. It was never a lot of money. Five bucks at the most, but my deviant mind didn’t stop there.

I admit, curiosity killed the cat when it comes to me. 

For years that’s all that it was, but then something happened. After graduation things took a turn for the better or worse? You decide. Suddenly the thought of church had a different effect on me. By then I learned that Nuns and Priests were forbidden from having sexual relationships. Honestly, not being able to cum would have killed me. I was a chronic masturbator and not a day went by that I didn’t cum. Not really too deviant, but I am sure God wouldn’t approve.

That’s when I really had to know. Do they enjoy the sins of the flesh, or are they really as uptight as they look. I found out the following Sunday that they were human after all. It was all by accident, but I call it divine intervention. It was Christmas Eve and I had already started working in the phone sex business. It was paying for college, so I thought God would forgive me.

My first call of the evening was from Canada. Nothing off there, but what did get my attention was the fact that he said he was a Priest and service would start soon. He wanted to cum before he welcomed the parishioners in for the evening. Honestly, I thought he was lying, but that wasn’t the case.

Is it bad that I made a Priest cum?

In a small room off of the main church this man whispered that he wanted me to give him JOI. That’s jack off instructions for anyone who doesn’t know. At first I hesitated, but then I grabbed my rosary rubbing the beads and told this man to stroke his filthy deviant cock. He did. I could hear it. Right as he was about to cum, I made him say the Lords Prayer and cum into his hand. When he asked what could he do with the seed, I knew right away. The church bells were ringing and the power I felt inside of me made me tremble.

“Go out to the entrance of the church and wash your hand off in the vessel of holy water!”

(By the way, this is a true story and it happened to me.)

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